I’m Just Going to Pretend It Didn’t Happen

There’s an old episode of Friends where Chandler gets embarrassed by something and shouts, “It didn’t happen!” while frantically waving his arms and snapping his fingers.  It’s a philosophy I like to apply to my own life.  Let’s face it, I can be pretty awkward sometimes, and though I can’t remember details from a meeting two weeks ago, my brain viciously logs all embarrassing moments dating back to at least 1998, replaying in my head without warning.

So sometimes when I’m at work, I like to listen to Dateline episodes, okay?  I do my work, I promise.  One of my projects requires a lot of tracking in Excel, which, let’s face it, doesn’t require much brain power.  I like to listen to Dateline or videos on youtube to make the time go by faster.

My computer has this thing where if you plug in headphones, you have to confirm that you’ve plugged in the headphones.  If you don’t, you’ll still be able to hear through your headphones…but the output also goes through the computer speakers.  It’s dumb.  Anyway, I had forgotten to do the confirmation, so as I was listening blithely to my Dateline episode, my nearby coworkers were too.

I had just finished listening to a salacious part of the story (where a flirtatious coworker of the murder suspect had just described what underwear she had on) when I thought, hmm, let me check and make sure that the sound isn’t coming out of the speakers.

GUESS WHAT.

My face turned vermillion.  I tried not to remember that my project manager sits right across from me and probably heard the entire snippet.

IT DIDN’T HAPPEN.

::snaps fingers, waves arms wildly in the air::

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