Throwback Thursday – Geeky Six-Year-Old Jenny

Today, my brother posted a rather charming set of old family photos for Throwback Thursday.  My mother told me that they had spent several hours poring over old albums.

There was this charmer.  I was six years old and had just lost my front tooth – I think I am learning how to smile again.  I completely forgot that this picture existed until my brother posted it.  Thanks, Patrick?

I now understand why my dad used to call me "toothless witch."

I now understand why my dad used to call me “toothless witch.”

Then he posted a serene photo of himself, my mother, and I, Christmas 1990.  We all had happy, content smiles on our faces. I had forgotten about this picture too, because I only remember one picture being taken from that day, and I was scowling angrily in that one.

Before I show you the pictures as a side-by-side comparison, a quick set-up: so, I have a pretty big sweet tooth as an adult.  But as a child?  I was ridiculous.  I used to eat candy until I threw it up.  I only remember this happening a couple of times, like Halloween 1989, when I threw up all over my Super Mario face mask (I wanted to be something like a princess but told my dad I needed a costume at the last minute, and Mario was all he could find. Looking back, I’m so glad he got me Mario and not a princess costume).  DIGRESSION.

TL;DR according to my mom, I got sick frequently from consuming too much candy.

The pictures I am about to post are from Christmas 1990. I was six.  It was a good Christmas – I got Little Miss Magic Hair and lots of candy.  We took the standard family photos that day.  Then at some point, Mom took the candy away from me, because of the aforementioned gluttony. I remember being furious about this.

So behold.  A study on the effects of sugar consumption in a young child.  On the left? I’m allowed to have my treats. I’m happy.  But the picture on the right?  Taken post-candy revocation.

"It's the most wonderful time of the - GIVE ME MY CANDY, WOMAN."

“It’s the most wonderful time of the – GIVE ME MY CANDY, WOMAN.”

And may I add, not much has changed since then. I don’t eat candy until I throw up anymore, but I definitely eat too much and then feel gross afterwards.  This was made apparent just recently, as many coworkers left Halloween candy outside of their cubes and I made a secret, concerted effort to sneak candy away without their knowledge.  And this past weekend, when Boyfriend and I went to Target, I think I spent $10 on Christmas candy alone. I AM A MONSTER THAT CANNOT BE STOPPED.


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