Why Am I Still Awake?

Today I was a bit of a zombie.  I hadn’t gotten very much sleep, had driven the 2 hours back from Boyfriend’s this morning…I was tired.

“I will get a lot of sleep tonight,” I thought, and became overly ambitious with my plans for the evening. I would come home, exercise, work on poetry, drum, work on my craft project, and read.  I would be responsible and retire early, by 11.

I came home, sat on the internet for 30 minutes, took care of Puppy, drummed a little, and then worked on the craft project.  It’s 12:15 and I’m wide awake, unfortunately.

I bought one of these coffee press thingys. From Melitta? It was five dollars, why not?  Because a person already prone to anxiety needs more caffeine in her life. I’m going to give it a try tomorrow and I hope the lure of coffee will inspire me to wake up early.

It probably won’t.

I’m kind of in denial that it’s already June.  This particular June is full of anniversaries, some happy, one sad.

  • I moved to Texas twenty years ago.
  • I met Boyfriend five years ago.
  • My friend passed away a year ago.

I have a feeling June will go by fast. I’m looking forward to July, even if I have two monster reports to work on in July and so work will likely own my soul.  My friend Suchi is coming to the states for several months, so yay! Boyfriend and I will celebrate our 2.5 year anniversary.  My 30th birthday is in July too.  Actually, I’m good with turning 30. It’s been on my mind a lot, I’m not going to lie. I’m not really afraid of turning 30.  I would only be afraid if I wasn’t happy about anything I’ve done with my life so far, and  I’m pretty happy with most of the things I’ve accomplished so far.  My only quibble is I’d like to travel a little more. I’m going to work on that for the next decade.

Also, I’d like to get my nose pierced and a tattoo, but I’m a wimp so we’ll see how that goes.

So how have I not listened to very much of Mazzy Star?

Oh my god, Hope Sandoval’s voice is pure perfection.  She first came on my radar when I saw an episode of True Blood and this song was playing.  That song will always remind me of Summer 2010 because it was on replay a ridiculous amount.

Okay. I should really try to sleep. Night night.

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